GREEN MONSTER

Money.

I wish our world doesn’t revolve around money. It is always the cause of every fight and these fights always end up with hurting one another.

Why does money so important?

We cannot live without it.

We will starve without it.

We can’t pay the bills without it.

We cannot travel without it.

We cannot be satisfied without it.

There is a story about a girl who doesn’t care about money but always have a problem about it. She is a 21 year old girl who is now working at a company she believes can make her improve. Her first two jobs were both not related to what she studied in college. She really enjoyed her second job and thought she could stay at it forever though she knows she cannot progress with it. It was a low paying job but she really loved it. A better opportunity (her current job) came for her so she grabbed it. Her latest job wasn’t that high paying but it was way better than her first. She really doesn’t know what she wants in her life. She wanted to be a writer right before she took the entrance exams in college. During college, she put up a business because she originally wanted to be a business woman. Months before she graduated in college, she thought of becoming a copywriter for an advertising agency because she thinks it was cool. After college, she had a camera and fell in love with it so she promised herself to study photography and be a photographer someday. She doesn’t know what she wants to pursue because she had all these dreams on her mind. She also wasn’t sure if she’s that good to really pursue it. She was easily discouraged when something doesn’t go right with her plans and she always think that she will fail. She doesn’t believe in herself. She doesn’t have the courage to stand up and face all the challenges in life. For all she knows she wasn’t that good enough. So, she doesn't care about earning so much money. She just wants to find out where she could be happy and where she’s really good at. But, of course, there are things she wanted like clothes, eating with her friends, and gadgets. And in order to afford all those, she needs to earn money. She’s working now just to pay her credit card bills that she thinks won’t end until she dies. She and her mother always fight because of the unpaid bills and her pauper salary. She doesn’t care if she always skips her meal everyday or pass some invites of her officemates just to save. But doing those aren’t enough. She knows that it’s her fault to purchase that expensive gadget but it was the only thing that keeps her in touch with her first love – writing. Alright, she wasn't that excellent in writing but she tries her best to improve. That gadget was her only outlet when she couldn’t contain her emotions. It was her wonderland where her dreams come true. But that gadget was always the part of the argument because it is too expensive. Sometimes she wishes she was born rich so she wouldn't mind the things she is minding right now. She was the eldest child but the second child was more successful than her. The second child is always the one who’s teaching her lessons about everything. I believe that was one of the reasons why she is inferior. She’s ashamed every time they are being compared for she knows she can’t match what the second child achieved.

She is still contemplating how to pay the bills and how to not starve in the days to come. The loser girl is losing her mind because she and her mother just had a fight last night regarding money for the nth time. She thought that if she could win 50 million in the lottery, she will give 40 million to her parents and hope that it would solve the problem and everybody will live happily ever after.

Inevitable circumstance

I haven't watch football in my whole life. I've never been interested in the game nor keen with the players but lately because of the Philippine National Football team or popularly known as Azkals, I begun liking it. It started when I had a weird dream about their most famous player. I didn't even know why but I felt a sudden tingling in my gut the morning I woke up. It was the start of the endless googling for his name and my interest for the team. I want to watch their games but the venue was out of Metro Manila. I want to watch it on TV but we don't have a freaking normal TV set. So I resort to internet updates and tweets from friends. The crush for the famous Azkals subsided just because he was too famous (hahaha!) and when I saw their goalee.

NEIL ETHERIDGE

I know football has tons of hot guys in their league but I never saw someone as good looking as this one. Hahaha! Kilig aside, It was because of this guy why I want to watch football. The interest started because of a crush but I want to know that sport more. I want to be passionate about it just the way I am passionate about basketball. I've been in love with basketball since the day I had my first period and until now I still make it a point to be updated though I haven't watch a game in a long time. I want to be into football not just because of the hot players but also because of the game. I try my best to watch videos in youtube or read articles about it over the internet just to know the rules and its mechanics little by little. After all, it is the world's most favorite sport. It won't kill me if I try :)

FEB 14

It’s valentines on Monday and most of us make fuzz about it. It’s the season of roses, chocolates, surprises, and overflow of proposals and I love yous. This is the part when I say I don’t care about valentines and if I don’t have a date on that day but it’s already a given that I am cynical these kind of issues. I’ve been single forever and I admit I sometimes ask why do I stay single? Is it because I am not pretty enough or am I just not a girlfriend material? I’ve spent five valentines wishing to spend it with a particular someone I really really liked until I decided to stop wishing this year. I realized I love being single and independent. I got to do anything I want without worrying that I have to inform someone. Sure I want to experience being loved, go out, tell someone I love you and get I love you back, and be special but maybe I am not yet ready for that at the moment. This year, I will be celebrating it with my friends again. We’re gonna have a little dinner and catching up to do. I am truly happy for all the couples who will be celebrating the hearts day on Monday. Spread some good lovin’ and kissin’! Just remember to use some protection! Cheers to y’all! :)

Dealing with it the hard way.

I ended the year 2010 feeling blessed with all the things our family had before the year closed. At first, I thought it would gonna be terrible because I had some serious problems with my feelings at the latter part but I eventually pulled it up realizing that 2010 hasn't been that bad to me. I had a rewarding job as a teacher, my sister landed a good paying and stable job at a marketing firm after only days since her college graduation, my mom went back to being an office girl after two years of being a housewife, my brother Ian was doing well in UE despite his frustrations to transfer to UST from Lyceum, and all of us were healthy as ever. I couldn't ask for anything more. We don't have money that much but I have a very happy family. Those were what made me feel blessed.

Considering all that, I thought 2011 would be nicer to me. My assumption strengthen when a job opportunity from a publishing house came first week of January. I thought "Whoah! 2011 and I are gonna be best buds!" but I am wrong. 2011 just started spitting on my face.

I am still employed with the school I am working at that time so I feel a little bit confused. I honestly love my job because I love being around kids. I already had that closeness with the kids and with my other co-teachers. But I thought to myself it was time to move on and try to pursue my dream step by step. It wasn't easy for me to come up with a decision but I have to for my future. It's been two years since I graduated from college but I still haven't had a job connected with what I studied for. I wanted to become a writer, a photographer, or a copywriter. I would work at the advertising department of the firm and would handle all the advertisements of all the magazine titles. It was really a dream-come-true to me though I have messy dreams. I am not sure what I really want but I told myself that if I take this job opportunity, it's gonna be one step closer. I submitted my resignation the day after I was accepted by the publishing house. They needed me immediately because the person I am replacing will be undergoing kidney transplant on February. I have to report to them for training and turn-over. The school accepted my resignation but didn't approve my immediate release. They said that according to the law I should finish my 30 days before they let me go. I asked them if I could skip working days so I could attend my training with the publishing house. They said I could but only if a replacement teacher comes along. Though I settled for that agreement, I know deep within that I can't wait for the replacement teacher because the following week I will report to the publishing house as an employee. I seek advise on what will I do and most of the people, aside from my sister, said that it was ok to go AWOL since a lot of people do that. I don't want to leave like that but I had no choice but to go or else I would lose both jobs. When everything was settled in the publishing house, I started working for them. The school was texting and calling me asking why am I not coming to work. I ignored all of that until one day my close friend who happens to be also my co-teacher texted me that I should inform the HR about my whereabouts or they will seek legal actions. I texted them and informed them that I won't be able to come back to work and apologized for all the troubles I caused them. I thought everything was settled after that but days after I received a summon letter for my hearing. Yes, they will file a civil case against me for Breaching of Contract. I went to the school last friday to face all the charges. I explained myself to them though I know all the things I said won't affect their decision.

Maybe I've never been a good employee/teacher. I maybe not that intelligent or kiss-ass employee but I know that I did my best for the school. I contributed all I could contribute. I shared what I could share when it comes to videos, photos, and other technical aspects I know that I acquired from college. The only thing I did wrong was not finishing the 30 days requirement. And now, I will face a consequence that may finish my life forever. I know it's exaggerating to say that but if they file that case and reflect that on my NBI record, I could no longer apply abroad or maybe here even. Who would accept an employee with a civil case? I thought things through the other night and I feel broken and destroyed. It was my fault and I admit it but It never occur to me that this would happen.

I am a part time employee working more than 8 hours a day and 6 days a week without any benefits and assurance that I would be a regular employee. I worked for the school for ten months. Those ten months will go to waste now. I don't know about labor law and shit but I think my job description won't fall for the part-time category. I am ONLY a part time employee but they waste money and time for my not finishing 30 days. Oh yes, that's the law and I get it. But god damn it they didn't even see that they also broke labor code here.

I had plans to go abroad in two years and try my luck overseas but how can I do that now? It's like I die or I work at the publishing house forever. I hope some lawyer could read this and shed me some light about this matter. I really want to understand so I could do something. For now, all I can do is wait for the civil case that they would file against me, work at the publishing house, and save money.

I was wrong when I said that everything was going smoothly for this year. It's been a rough road lately that I cannot barely think positive anymore. My sister said I should think outside the box. Well, my box had been shattered and empty space is all I got now. I live by the day. That's what I always do so that's still what I would do. I always ask myself why do things have to be always hard for me? Is this the price that I would pay for trying to reach my dreams? Or this is just the consequence of breaking a freaking 30 days rule?

JAW DROPPERS (YEAR END EDITION)

Ok, so 2010 will wrap in a couple of days. As for me, Imma end it with making this list. I something like this earlier this year. I love watching movies or dramas so most of the time I fall in love with the characters. The boys on this list were the ones I’ve seen this year. Some already made it to the first list and some were new faces. Nonetheless, they made my 2010 a little interesting. I honestly had fun while making this entry. :)

20. PIOLO PASCUAL

CLAIM TO FAME: I can’t enumerate all the movies and drama series under his famous name but I remember the first time I heard about him. It was the Sprite commercial where Toni Gonzaga (which was also starting at that time) shouted “I love you Piolooooo!!” He had done various movies and teleseryes since then, been nominated and won in prestigious award giving bodies, and is now an established leading man in Philippine show business.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: If you would ask every woman here in the Philippines who is their biggest crush, 80% will say it is Piolo Pascual. He is considered as the most sought after actor though many says that he is gay. He also reminds me of a guy I used to like back in college. The resemblance is overwhelming.

19. BRENDON URIE

CLAIM TO FAME: Vocalist of the Punk group Panic! At the Disco. The band disbanded and only two remained including Brendon. The music scene wasn't all hot for them right now. Rumors has it that he is gay but kissing fellow Panic! member was all just part of the crazy band experience.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: He has a nice voice and face for a rockstar.

18. ROBERT BUCKLEY

CLAIM TO FAME: Casted on the the posh sexy series Lipstick jungle and then on One Tree Hill as Clay, the agent-turn-bestriend-of-Nathan.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: He's got a hot body! That's why!

17. STEVEN R. MCQUEEN

CLAIM TO FAME: He currently stars in the vampire thriller series The Vampire Diaries as Elena’s brother who also has a crush on her witch best friend Bonnie.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: For the 1^st season of the series, he wasn’t that stunning because his role was a 15 year old disturbed boy who’s in love with an older woman. But comes season two, he became more masculine: his body improved and he matured a lot. I found out he has a Filipino ancestor. His grandmother was Neile Adams, a Filipina actress. How cool is that?

16. STEVEN STRAIT

CLAIM TO FAME: Movies like The Covenant, Undiscovered, and City Island.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: This guy can sing! He proved that in the movie Undiscovered. He sang and showed off his awesome abs on screen though the movie wasn't that good for me in terms of its storyline.

15. CHORD OVERSTREET JR.

CLAIM TO FAME: Spotted on Glee as Sam, the narcissistic jock who replaced Finn as quarterback and also happens to like singing. He eventually joined glee club where he met Quinn then fell for her.

WHY HE'S ON THE LIST: Look at that abs! And if you are watching Glee, you probably heard his own rendition of Billionaire. I used to hate that song but when I heard him sing it, everything turned 360 degrees.

14. PAUL MCCARTNEY

CLAIM TO FAME: Who doesn't know this guy? He is the bassist of the legendary band The Beatles. He is also considered as one of the greatest composers of all time alongside his former co-beatle John Lennon.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: Ok, this picture maybe taken 6 decades ago but hey! He was hot in the 60's! He's my second favorite Beatle after Ringo. I regard him as the pretty boy of the band. He was considered as the most wanted person by the girls in the 60's aside from the other Beatle members for his looks and his talent as musician and composer.

13. JOSH HARTNETT

CLAIM TO FAME: He got his break as an actor in the TV series Cracker then landed big roles in the movies Black Hawk Down, Lucky Number Slevin, and Pearl Harbor.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: I have a big crush on this guy since I was in high school and every year he gets hotter and hotter. I personally liked his role in the Movies 40 days and 40 nights and Pearl harbor. Such a cutie :)

12. JAMES FRANCO

CLAIM TO FAME: We all saw him in the Spiderman movies where he played Harry, the best friend of Peter Parker and the son of his main enemy. His other films were Milk with Sean Penn, Pineapple Express with Seth Rogen, and Fly Boys. James also produced films like Good Time Max which he also starred and had been nominated in various award giving bodies.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: He is the hottest nerd I know. He came from an-all artist family since his parents were writers like him. He got a superhuman ability to focus and he can't live without reading a book. Because of this, he got degrees in UCLA, Yale University, Brooklyn College, Columbia University, and Rhode Island School of design. Beat that!

11. CORY MONTEITH

CLAIM TO FAME: He plays Finn, the athlete-singer who can't dance and member of the not-so-famous glee club in the hit television series Glee.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: Second Glee guy who made in the list! Like Chord, he can sing. He is also extremely funny when he acts dumb and innocent and I can't help but laugh when he dances on screen. He really doesn't have the moves. Haha!

10. CHANNING TATUM

CLAIM TO FAME: He began his career as a model before landed in the movies She's The Man, Step Up 1, Coach Carter, and Dear John.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: He can dance, he can play football and basketball, and he can do martial arts. What else can you ask for?!

9. ADAM BRODY

CLAIM TO FAME: His role as Seth Cohen in the now defunct TV series The O.C gave him his break. He then starred on some films like Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Jennnifer's body.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: He said his role as Seth Cohen (nerd, talkative, and coward) was the real him. Seth was sweet and loyal to Summer. I liked his role in that series and he was the only reason why I managed to watch it until season 3.

8. MILO VENTIMIGLIA

CLAIM TO FAME: He’s one of the extra human characters in Heroes and portrayed a role as a hot Pathologist who played guess-how-I-kill-this-person charade with his colleagues in the movie Pathology.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: His macho body and oozing sex appeal got me wishing that he could save me when I decide to be a damsel in distress someday.

7. SHIA LEBEOUF

CLAIM TO FAME: His ever famous role as Sam Witwicky in Transformers. His other movies were Disturbia and New York, I Love You.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: Though I am not a big fan of smokers, he would be the hottest chain smoker ever!

6. IAN SOMERHALDER

CLAIM TO FAME: His one season role in LOST as Boone. He currently stars in the suspense series The Vampire Diaries as Damon Salvatore.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: Another TVD boy aside from Steven. He got beautiful eyes, bad boy aura, and I always had a thing with broad jaw lines. I find them sexy.

5. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

CLAIM TO FAME: Who doesn’t know Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars? He also had other movies such as Awake, Factory Girl, and Jumper where he met his ex-fiancée Rachel Bilson.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: He’s got an angelic face but also had a very sexy stare and lips. I love his husky bedroom voice, too!

4. JAMES LAFFERTY

CLAIM TO FAME: He’s role as Nathan Scott in the drama series One Tree Hill made him famous among the girls next to Chad Michael Murray who played as his brother.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: I can say that his role as Nathan Scott is my ultimate Dream Boy. If there is really a Nathan Scott existing, he will absolutely be on this list.

3. JOHNNY DEPP

CLAIM TO FAME: Who doesn’t know Johnny Depp? Do I still need to elaborate?

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: I was shocked when I found out that he and my mother has the same age. I thought he was just like 35 or something. He’s aging gracefully and for me, he is the hottest man alive! I think everyone won't contest with that.

2. KIM HYUN JOONG

CLAIM TO FAME:Most of us saw him first in Boys Over flowers. He played the character Ji Hoo, the silent and reserved F4. Late this year, I had the chance to watch his latest drama, Playful Kiss (Naughty Kiss). It was the Korean version of It Started with a Kiss and I think it was totally better than the Taiwanese version. Hyun Joong is the leader of the boy band SS501 and considered as one of the sought-after personalities in South Korea nowadays.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: Last time, the only Korean who made it into the list was Lee Dong Wok. This time around, it is Kim Hyun Joong. He was the first Korean I saw who can dance, sing, and act (aside from Rain, of course) who I actually like. Awesome body! Awesome body! Awesome body! Awesome body! Awesome body!

1. ANDREW GARFIELD

CLAIM TO FAME: Remember Eduardo Saverin in the movie The Social Network? He played that character. That was considered his biggest break aside from his starring movie Boy A. Let’s wait if he can pull it off as the newest Peter Parker in 2012.

WHY HE'S ON MY LIST: Because he has an innocent eyes and his lips sure can melt a girl. But above all, I REALLY have this thing on lean and lanky guys.