Chickie Buffer

I have mention on my previous post that I am always the go-to guy of my closest friends when they are having relationship troubles. I still have another role in their romantic lives, though. I am always their CHICKIE BUFFER.

What is Chickie Buffer? It is the person in between two other people hugging. It negates the potential for man-touching-man discomfort. (Source: Chasing Liberty, 2004)

The scenario is always like this: Boy meets girl and plans to court her. Girl doesn’t really like boy or she isn’t comfortable being with boy yet. So boy courts her friends first (most likely it will be Maine). Maine will be like their messenger when they cannot say something to each other directly and their chaperon whenever they will go out.

It’s fun to be in between to courting people because you got to enjoy the perks of having to watch a movie for free, eat for free, and be a controlling bitch because the guy couldn’t refuse anything you will ask. However, if you come to think of it, it’s a little bit tiring to be around them all the time. You go out with them but you feel that the guy wants you to vanish; it’s awkward because you hear things you shouldn’t hear; you always have to euphemize the things you are about to say to both parties.

Example scenario:

Girl: I really don’t like him. He’s not my type at all.

Maine: Maybe you should give him a chance. He’s nice and persistent. But it’s up to you if you want to turn him down.

Boy: Do I have a chance?

Maine: Just do your best.

And lastly, because you are always in between, you will most likely also be in that position when things won’t go right. You will feel that it was your fault when they started fighting and stopped talking. This is the most exhausting part of this role. Why do I always have to be in between my friends and their suitors’ affair? But because I couldn’t do anything about it (I can’t bail) and I am such a good friend, I always try to solve the problem.

I thought this will be over once I graduate from college because I assume that we will meet more mature boys in the working world. I am wrong. I still always catch myself in between an unaccommodating girl and a coward boy.