Dear You,

                How are you? It's a rainy afternoon. Boy, it's pouring really hard outside. I got flu two days ago because I let myself got wet on the rain. You know me, I don't like using umbrella even though I have one in my bag. Did you see the eclipse? I didn't have the chance to see it though I want to because of this flu I have. It must have been a cool birthday happening for you, right? 

                Because it's raining and when I looked at the calendar it's June 16 already so I thought about you again. It’s been two years since I last saw you. I couldn’t remember how your face looks like. All I can remember is how I feel about you over the past four years. Yes, it’s been that long. Even I couldn’t believe that such feeling could exist this long. I tried my best to forget you. I told myself many times that I should, would, and could get you off my mind but I guess I am really such a stubborn child. I thought I was doing well in the first quarter of the year when I started a diet on you. I totally forgot about you because I was busy thinking about myself and my future until I saw the things that reminded me of you. It doesn’t hurt when I am happy or excited about something or when I am watching dramas or movies of my favorite Japanese actors. But when I am not, the thought of you kills me. So now, I am back on feeling this again. It’s not doing me any good. I became sickly again, began eating too much junk food again, wanting more ice cream again, crying over a romantic movie again, and longing to see you again. It sucks to be in this state once more. I don’t like myself who cries at night over a worthless guy and a rubbish love. I know this feeling won’t reach you cos you are there doing your baller thing and busy being a father and a boyfriend. See, these two are enough reasons to neglect you but this stupid heart won’t follow my mind.

                It’s gonna be a long and hard process. It isn’t easy throwing away something you had for so long especially when it is dear to you heart. I was happy when I loved you back in the day even though it hurt me. I accepted that pain is really a part of loving somebody particularly if it’s an unrequited one. It’s been four years. A lot had changed including your hairstyle when I saw you once in Facebook. My friends are living their lives the way an adult should, we stopped doing crazy things like we did in college, I don’t watch basketball that often anymore, and I finally got inked. The only thing that hasn’t changed is my feelings for you. Maybe it will stay this way for another four years. No one knows what will happen. But I hope I could get past all of this chaotic love stuff soon. I am gonna be better and wouldn’t even remember I had some kinda lame crush on a guy who looked like a toothpick. I know I could do it on my own pace.

                By the way, Happy birthday!  Hope you have a good one and I wish you all the best.

Me

JIN and KAN-KAN mishap

This made a big deal over the internet specifically in Tumblr, Twitter, Livejournal, and Facebook. Many fans ranted (and still ranting as of press time) because of the KAN-KAN incident involving Jin Akanishi. I want to explain everything here but I know I won’t please everybody so here it is.

Jin Akanishi is a former member of the band KAT-TUN as opposed to what was written on the article on our magazine, MOD. My friend, who happened to be the writer of the article, asked me about three months ago if I like an Asian actor or performer specifically not Korean. I was a neophyte fan of KAT-TUN that time so I got excited and answered “Kamenashi Kazuya and Akanishi Jin. They are quite popular in Japan nowadays. You could pick anyone of them.” Days passed and she told me that the article won’t be published so I didn’t ask her more about it. My job for the company is related somehow with the magazine so when I was checking the MAY issue, I was surprised to see the article with Jin’s photo in there. I also noticed the controversial KAN-KAN. I googled in with the thinking that maybe she just mixed KAT-TUN up with another band but I learned KAN-KAN isn’t a band at all. I didn’t make a big issue about it. I was contented that at least Jin was featured in a local magazine since Japanese artists weren’t that hot in the country as compared to Koreans.

I didn’t think that this will make an impact to the KAT-TUN fans in the internet. The editorial and the writer didn’t mean no harm. Honest mistake is not an excuse in this matter but we should not hate. Let’s stop bad-mouthing the editors, the writer, or the magazine. It won’t do any good to us or the boys. I wanna believe that KAT-TUN and Jin’s fans are nice people so let’s stop using foul words on our comments in the internet. Look at the bright side and let’s move on. KAT-TUN is KAT-TUN and you cannot take it away from Jin though he’s going solo now. If there are new fans of Jin, surely they will come across KAT-TUN once they search more about him. KAN-KAN will be just a funny part of it.

If anyone got offended, I am sorry. I deeply apologize for it. We’ll just make sure it won’t happen again in the future. No offense meant. I hope this will get across everybody and clear everything up. We all love Jin and KAT-TUN so I say let’s just get along :)


*Photo courtesy of http://kissmegreen.livejournal.com/78515.html?view=1732531#t1732531

Chickie Buffer

I have mention on my previous post that I am always the go-to guy of my closest friends when they are having relationship troubles. I still have another role in their romantic lives, though. I am always their CHICKIE BUFFER.

What is Chickie Buffer? It is the person in between two other people hugging. It negates the potential for man-touching-man discomfort. (Source: Chasing Liberty, 2004)

The scenario is always like this: Boy meets girl and plans to court her. Girl doesn’t really like boy or she isn’t comfortable being with boy yet. So boy courts her friends first (most likely it will be Maine). Maine will be like their messenger when they cannot say something to each other directly and their chaperon whenever they will go out.

It’s fun to be in between to courting people because you got to enjoy the perks of having to watch a movie for free, eat for free, and be a controlling bitch because the guy couldn’t refuse anything you will ask. However, if you come to think of it, it’s a little bit tiring to be around them all the time. You go out with them but you feel that the guy wants you to vanish; it’s awkward because you hear things you shouldn’t hear; you always have to euphemize the things you are about to say to both parties.

Example scenario:

Girl: I really don’t like him. He’s not my type at all.

Maine: Maybe you should give him a chance. He’s nice and persistent. But it’s up to you if you want to turn him down.

Boy: Do I have a chance?

Maine: Just do your best.

And lastly, because you are always in between, you will most likely also be in that position when things won’t go right. You will feel that it was your fault when they started fighting and stopped talking. This is the most exhausting part of this role. Why do I always have to be in between my friends and their suitors’ affair? But because I couldn’t do anything about it (I can’t bail) and I am such a good friend, I always try to solve the problem.

I thought this will be over once I graduate from college because I assume that we will meet more mature boys in the working world. I am wrong. I still always catch myself in between an unaccommodating girl and a coward boy. 

Road to Dead End.

I checked my Tumblr a few days ago after not being able to for quite sometime and I found this in my archive. I never had a romantic relationship with anybody but I couldn't help but be interested with these kinds of articles I read online. They appeal to me as guide if ever God will let me enter a relationship in the future. They are also helpful to my friends since they run to me whenever they are in a havoc with their boyfriends. It's ironic, right? Seeking advice from an inexperienced creature is like asking me to solve a calculus equation. All the things I tell them are based from the books I read, movies I watch, and other friend's friends experiences. So here it is, one my favorite topics about relationships - BREAKUPS.

5 Signs You’re Headed Toward a Breakup
By Dating coach David Wygant
Updated: Feb 4, 2010

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where the frustration level and the number of times you butt heads with each other seems to increase by the second? You say blue, she says red, and the fights just seem to be going in circles.

If the answer is yes, then you may be at what I call “the breakup point.” Here are five signs that your relationship may be past the point of fixing. Whether you are living together, married, or just dating, these breakup signs are usually loud and clear.

1. You stop relationship - building behaviors. In the honeymoon stage of a relationship, which we all know is the first 90 days of pure bliss, you are learning about each other and making efforts to create romantic moods and nice evenings. When you’re in that stage, you are really working at building your relationship. Then, at some point, you start to butt heads with each other. Critical relationship elements deteriorate. Maybe you stop kissing each other goodbye or stop texting each other during the day. Instead of adding things to the relationship, you start to resent each other like two five-year-olds who stop sharing their crayons. This is a breakup point.

2. You don’t understand each other anymore. The fighting escalates to a place where you no longer feel like you’re understood by your partner. Physical intimacy stops, communication stops, and you are living like roommates. You’re at the point in the relationship where you are trying to understand each other, but you get so frustrated because you feel like you just don’t understand each other anymore. This is a breakup point.

3. You start punishing each other. When you get to the point of no longer understanding each other, what happens is that you end up just kind of coexisting in the new dynamic. Resentment builds and you get in your head too much. You are no longer about feelings, and you start punishing each other. “Well, he hasn’t done this for me, so I’m not going to do this for him” are the kind of thoughts that take root. The longer you stay in that dynamic and the further away you get from the dynamic you had during the early part of the relationship, the less likely it is that you’ll ever get it back (and, after a point, you won’t). You have hit the breakup point.

4. You fight less. When you get to the breakup point, you actually fight less with your partner. You fight less because in your mind and heart you start detaching yourself from the other person, and you don’t care as much anymore. You have already made a determination that they don’t understand you, that they will never understand you, and that the relationship just won’t work out. The minute you get into a fight, you just walk away from it. That is a sure sign that you are at the breakup point.

5. You’ve taken the time to think it through. When you think you might have hit that breakup point, you must tell the person that you’re disconnecting from them. You need to be honest and raw. If you don’t think the relationship is going to work, or you know you’ve already disconnected based on how things have been going, then you might want to consider walking away for a week. When you’re in the thick of things, they never seem to be able to work out.

So take a break. Spend a week without your partner. Take the week to ask yourself some questions. Go visit some friends or family. Really think about what life would be like without that person. How would you feel? Then, go back and either take a stand for the relationship or break up.

Whichever decision you make, you need to be honest with yourself. Life is too short! There are a lot of wonderful, amazing people out there ready to meet you.